Netflix Horror Movies 2016: How To Scrape The Bottom Of The Streaming Barrel This Halloween

Screen Shot 2016-10-21 at 4
So much trash, so little time before death. Netflix

There’s been no better advertisement for horror movie streaming service Shudder than the absolutely wretched selection Netflix is offering its customers this Halloween season. Still, the horror genre is an eclectic realm and its adherents have long ago learned to take what they can get and squeeze out what bloody fun there is to be had. The 2016 Netflix horror movie selection won’t do if you’re looking for a specific flick, but should still have one or two offerings for most horror hounds.

By my count, Netflix has 261 horror movies on offer, 39 of which I’ve seen and can offer this definitive ranking, which will settle the question for all time:

Jaws

jaws-quint
If you'd ever consider a 'Sharknado' movie over this GTFO. Photo: Universal Pictures

The Host

Re-Animator

Director Stuart Gordon is a national treasure.  Though Re-Animator is often treated as his classic, almost every one of his movies is just as fun: From Beyond, Doll, The Pit and the Pendulum, Fortress, Castle Freak… guess how many are on Netflix?

The Legend of Hell House

The-Legend-of-Hell-House-1973
Roddy McDowall! Photo: AIP

Outside of Roger Corman’s astounding Edgar Allan Poe movies (none of which are on Netflix!), American International Pictures was known for schlocky, low-budget movies appropriate for double-feature packaging. The Legend of Hell House is their fast-paced take on Robert Wise’s 1963 classic, The Haunting . It’s fog-choked, colorful and moody, with a mansion worthy of Crimson Peak . Yeah, the source of the haunting turns out to be a little silly, but that’s part of the fun.

Hellraiser

hellraiser
Almost better than the cenobites is how despicable all the human characters in 'Hellraiser' are. Photo: Entertainment New World

The Fly

This isn’t the superior Cronenberg remake, but the 1958 original is still a great time.

Scream 2

There are a number of lone franchise entries drifting around the Netflix horror section, proof that their picks are less curated and more opportunistic licensing grabs. Luckily, Scream 2 is a classic all by itself, even if nothing can top the 90s genre mastery of the original Scream.

Wes Craven’s New Nightmare

Creep

Maybe it’s just me, but I can’t stand looking at Mark Duplass. And found footage has been the worst thing to happen to horror since the invention of digital blood spatter. But Creep is just so unsettling — in a down-to-earth creepy coworker way — and so well-written that it overcame all my reservations. And Duplass is pretty good!

The Babadook

The Invitation

Read nothing about it (except this). Just watch.

Troll Hunter

Pontypool

Sleepy Hollow

Tim Burton’s last good movie.

Event Horizon

Housebound

housebound-kylie-mom
Kiwis really get horror-comedy for some reason. Photo: Semi-Professional Pictures

Hellbound: Hellraiser 2

The Sacrament

It’s got nothing on House of the Devil or The Innkeepers (neither are on Netflix!), but The Sacrament continues to demonstrate that every Ti West horror movie is a worth a watch ( but the less said about his Western, the better ).

The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari

Yes, there’s something deeply wrong with ranking this German Expressionist classic so low. Can’t help it.

The Brainiac

Brainiac
Yes. Photo: Cinematográfica ABSA

Mexico has made some of the most underrated international horror pics. While everyone else is getting all hopped up on the lyrical ghostliness of Onibaba and Kwaidan, why not soak up some soapy, Catholic-infused monster fun? And if you like this, track down The Black Pit of Dr. M.

A Girl Walks Home Alone At Night

Hush

John Dies at the End

This mostly dumb adaptation of a better book still has enough of those Don Coscarelli touches to make it worthwhile. Too bad none of his good movies, like Phantasm, are on Netflix.

Tucker and Dale vs. Evil

The Relic

the-relic
The perfect aggressively mediocre creature feature. Photo: Cloud Nine Entertainment

Children of the Corn

From Dusk ‘Til Dawn

The Human Centipede: First Sequence

Starry Eyes

Baskin

(our review)

 

The “Don’t Bother” Line

The Lazarus Effect

We Are Still Here

The Wicker Man

Stake Land

So much good word-of-mouth on this one. Can someone defend this garbage in the comments so I can clap back?

Scary Movie 2

Scary Movie 3

Jaws 3

Jaws 2

Jaws: The Revenge

Why is it that Netflix’s only complete horror movie franchise is perhaps the most wretched series of sequels ever assembled?

 

That’s everything I’ve seen. But here are two bonus categories that could steer you in the right direction come the midnight hour:

 

Lesser Works By Horror Geniuses

nightbreed
David Cronenberg acts in 'Nightbreed!' Photo: Morgan Creek Productions
  • Nightbreed (Clive Barker)
  • The Hole (Joe Dante)
  • Final Destination 3 (James Wong)
  • The Fury (Brian De Palma)

Recent Festival Darlings

the-nightmare-documentary
A terrifying image from night terror documentary, 'The Nightmare.' Photo: Gravitas Ventures
  • Here Comes the Devil
  • Darling
  • They Look Like People
  • The Nightmare

Intriguing for Ill-Defined Reasons, Maybe I Heard From Someone Else They Were Good Or Something, Don’t Remember

  • Never Sleep Again: The Elm Street Legacy
  • The Snowtown Murders
  • The Pact (featured in the excellent Horror Movie A Day book)
  • Wolf Creek 2 (many say it’s better than the overrated original!)
  • Blood Glacier (apparently exactly one notch above Syfy original pictures, should that horrible mood strike you)
blood-glacier
We can at least say 'Blood Glacier' has an intriguing hook. Photo: Allegro Films

Anything else worth our time on Netflix? Let me know in the comments. It’s no simple task wading through the garbage, but horror movie fans certainly have more experience with it than most.

Loading...
Join the Discussion
Top Stories