'Final Fantasy XV': 72-Hour Boss And James Joyce Vibes Fail To Impress Conan O'Brien And Elijah Wood

Conan O’Brien sat down with Elijah Wood to play Final Fantasy XV in a video released to YouTube on Monday. Both men seemed confused as hell by Square Enix’s latest installment in the epic JRPG series, which won’t comfort Final Fantasy fans worried the game could be an overstuffed, unfocused mess. The segment also teased an optional baddie, Adamantoise, who will take 72 real-world hours to defeat. Sit on that, Emerald Weapon.

O’Brien -- who popularized hating Jay Leno for a whole new generation -- played FFXV on his TBS late-night show as part of his recurring ‘Clueless Gamer’ segment, which usually finds him making fun of some of the biggest console titles in exchange for a bit o’ free publicity. Admittedly, the slow pace of an expansive JRPG was never going to lend itself well to a heavily condensed, quippy segment like this, but it’s funny how some of the things O’Brien and Wood immediately pick up on reflect some of the ongoing concerns of fans who’ve been keeping an eye on the game throughout its 10-year (gulp!) development cycle.

You can watch the clip from Conan below. Be warned, there are some plot spoilers for Final Fantasy XV. (Be sure to wait for the end, it's worth it.)

Here's some of the gems to emerge from the video.

• “We just were sent on a magical journey and we’re pushing a car? Why is this a game?”
• “We’re trapped in a Beckett play. There’s nothing that is going to happen. We’re waiting for things that can’t happen.”
• “This game should be called ‘Wait For Your Death In Real Time.’”
• “They’ve got a bag of chips?!”
• “I want to ride the chicken.”

It’s worth noting O’Brien compares FFXV to the literary works of James Joyce and Samuel Beckett, not (we assume) because the game has a particularly Irish vibe, but because it seems almost aggressively bewildering and complex. Again, this doesn't mean it's time for FF diehards to panic, it’s probably just hard to get a real feel for a 100-hour game in six minutes.

At around the five-minute mark, you see Wood take on the ginormous Adamantoise boss (first teased in the game’s 2014 Tokyo Game Show footage). He's bewildered by the battle ending abruptly, without a clear victory. It’s hard to tell from the footage, but it seems as though what’s going on here is that this optional megaboss will run away from Noctis' party after a certain time, or after sustaining a certain amount of damage.

“That was just to suss him out,” Conan’s staffer and/or Square Enix liason explained, “when you actually fight him it takes three real days.” Yep. 72 of our actual Earth hours. How does that even work? Does Noctis have a sous vide, allowing him to cook his enemies very very slowly? Turns out, we weren't the only ones with burning questions.

“Why would someone play this?!” O’Brien shouted.

“I say no, sir. No,” Wood chimed in, slapping his hands on his legs for emphasis.

What do you think? Did the Conan bit make you more or less excited to play Final Fantasy XV? Are you going anywhere near that 72-hour boss? Let us know your thoughts in the comments.