If the tottering of Warner Bros.’ failed attempt at a DC cinematic universe was ever newsworthy, it certainly isn’t anymore -- or, at least, it shouldn't be. The commentary is inescapable: vlogs, think pieces, podcasts, seances -- at this point, the Zapruder film has been analyzed fewer times than Batman V. Superman. I sorta got the appeal of this this kind of pop culture sludge initially, but slow news days don’t exist anymore. Guys, Nazis are back, in like a BIG way, how do you have the energy to give a shit about Ben Affleck playing or not playing Batman?
Oh man, you know Ben Affleck? The guy fresh off a couple of box office turds currently going through a vicious public divorce? Yeah, turns out he doesn’t want to dress up like a bat in movies that consistently get panned anymore. Quick, Noam Chomsky, weigh in! Help us make sense of this!? Write your witticisms nerds, your obsession with dildos punching blue sky lasers neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg, but just know you're killing poor Patty Jenkins.
That’s right, while you pencil-necks were tugging your pud to Superman’s shoulder in the last Comic Con trailer, Patty Jenkins’ Wonder Woman has been taking in more green than Ms. Piggy on Valentine's Day. Looks like little girls got a new role model to look up to. How many bullets can you deflect off your wrist, Marie Curie?!?
Whatever the future of DC Films holds, let’s all make a concerted effort not to let Jenkins triumph get buried beneath the hyperbolic critical lashing that very well maybe on its way. To overcome the pressure to successfully adapt a venerable pop-culture feminist symbol like Wonder Woman and redeem the hitherto sinking ship of the DC cinematic universe is no small feat. It’s all the more impressive in light of the stigma that has plagued female filmmakers in the industry since its inception. Not only did P-Jenks (been trying to make that a thing) accomplish all this, the movie is set to be the fifth biggest superhero opening in North America of all time. The success of Wonder Woman set a new standard both creatively (bolstering studios’ faith in female-led projects) and for payouts for women directors.
In my book, even if Justice League is the cinematic equivalent of 911 (not the date Ringo joined the Beatles, but that time a plane crashed into a skyscraper), DC Films is already a success. It’s like my Dad always said: Quit reading those comic books! I wish the lord would have spared your brother instead!”
