'Thor: Ragnarok' Plot: Spoilers, Long Hair Is Better Forever

“Let’s face it: Thor’s hair was always a little too Nelson-circa-1990,” Entertainment Weekly writes in a post unveiling its new cover, which in addition to revealing two new Marvel characters from the Thor: Ragnarok cast, Hela and Valkyrie, also shows Thor’s long locks have been replaced by a Roman general-esque military cut. Thanks for the cover, EW, but no, short hair is not cooler than long hair. (Also, did you have to use the dumb non-word “adulting”?) Long hair is totally rad now and forever. Short hair is for republicans, squares and people who work with fire: flame jugglers, human cannonballs, fire eaters and the like. Everyone else should feel ashamed every day they don’t look like an extra in a movie with “barbarian” in the title.

Aside from betraying great hair everywhere and sympathizing with the short hair menace, the EW Thor: Ragnarok writeup describes some plot elements. “The latest entry finds Thor battling not only the Goddess of Death, Hela (Academy Award winner Cate Blanchett), but also his frenemy the Hulk (Mark Ruffalo) when the pair find themselves on a desolate planet called Sakaar.”

Sakaar was also a major component of Greg Pak’s Incredible Hulk storyline “Planet Hulk,” wherein Hulk becomes an intergalactic gladiator. While Thor: Ragnarok isn’t a direct adaptation of “Planet Hulk,” much of the plot and production design (Hulk’s armor is straight from the comics) is clearly inspired by it.

Unlike “Planet Hulk” — which saw Hulk exiled from Earth by Doctor Strange, Professor X, Namor, Reed Richards, Black Bolt and Iron Man — EW reveals it’s Hela who strands Hulk and Thor on Sakaar. Hemsworth describes the planet as “basically where every wormhole across the universe dumps out its trash, so you get people from all walks of life with all sorts of incredible abilities and powers.”

This creates an identity of crisis of sorts for Thor, who is used to being special — not just royalty, but super-duper strong and magical royalty. “No one cares what prince or king Thor may have been in another world. Also, his strength is pretty easily matched with those he finds himself amongst.” And so, like Britney Spears shaving her head, it seems Thor tries for a radical style change. Well, it didn’t work buddy. With your long hair you could have been airbrushed on the side of my van. Now you just look like slightly blonder Gerard Butler.

But despite this massive mane misstep, Thor: Ragnarok is still one of the more exciting movies in the Marvel pipeline, thanks to director Taika Waititi (What We Do in the Shadows, Hunt for the Wilderpeople), who is aiming for a radical tonal shift toward the comedic.

“I think sometimes people mistake a tonal shift as ‘We’re just going to make some ridiculous broad comedy where no one gives a shit what happens and everyone gets stoned and sits around talking about saving the universe,’” Waititi told EW. “We want people to care what happens and care that the hero succeeds. I think tonally it’s like a slight shift. I don’t feel nervous — I feel good about it.”

Thor: Ragnarok is out in theaters Nov. 3.