‘Star Trek: Discovery’ Must Be Streaming So Naked Aliens Can Say Frell And Frak Or Whatever

The Discovery, designation NCC-1031.
The Discovery, designation NCC-1031. CBS Television Studios

After a major release date delay, the loss of showrunner Bryan Fuller and the insertion of franchise-wrecker Akiva Goldsman, Trekkers or Trekkies could use some good Star Trek: Discovery news. Like… maybe CBS will just put it out on Netflix, or — here’s a crazy idea — on television, instead of relegating Star Trek to a streaming service absolutely no one wants and charging $6 a month (with ads!). Well, too bad.

Speaking with Peter Kafka of Recode Media, CBS Interactive CEO Jim Lanzone explained why Star Trek: Discovery must stay behind a paywall with reruns of NCIS and Blue Bloods.

“Sci-fi is not something that has traditionally done really well on broadcast,” Lanzone told Recode. “It’s not impossible, for the future, if somebody figures it out. But historically, a show like Star Trek wouldn’t necessarily be a broadcast show, at this point.”

Science fiction is on the ascendancy. It dominates television, movies and video games. Every previous Star Trek show ran on broadcast. Star Trek: Voyager, The Next Generation and Deep Space Nine all ran for seven seasons on broadcast, in a less genre-friendly era. This is not a very good reason.

But Lanzone has a consolation prize: nudity and cursing.

“Naked aliens, and humans?” Kafka asked.

“Theoretically,” Lanzone said.

“And swearing?”

“Whatever future swearing, 300 years in the future, would be,” Lanzone said.

Yes, Star Trek may soon have its own variation on frell and frak, because we’ve all been clamoring for it.

This honestly wouldn’t rankle so much if we were still getting Bryan Fuller’s Star Trek: Discovery. I’ll happily pay $6 a month for a fantastic Star Trek show. But that’s looking less and less likely with every new announcement. Not only has DSC lost Fuller, the addition of Akiva Goldsman suggests that CBS is determined to stick their thumb in the new Star Trek ’s eye socket and wiggle it around for a while.

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