Game Of Thrones Season 7: What Someone Much Smarter Than Me Wants To See

There are Game Of Thrones spoilers here. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

I’ve been holding off my Game Of Thrones excitement until tonight. I’ve ignored all teasers, trailers, water-cooler talk and anything that remotely rhymes with Targaryen. It’s been a long 2017, but it’s finally time to head back to Westeros and find out who’s going to place their buttocks upon the Iron Throne.

I’ve never read the books or been able to remember the names of characters I’ve just met. My girlfriend, on the other hand, is a whizz when it comes to Game Of Thrones stuff like this. She’s read every book, watched every episode (multiple times) and can tell you all of Walter Frey’s children. She screamed with glee right before Cersei Lannister burned the Great Sept of Baelor to the ground with green wildfire as I wonder how uncomfortable sitting in the Iron Throne must be.

To prepare ourselves for the start of the seventh season, we sat down and discussed what her favorite theories for the next season are. I have no idea what’s going to happen next, but I do know someone with a lot more knowledge. Here are a few things we want:

Tyrion (Or Jamie) Will Kill Cersei: In season five, we see Cersei and one of her friends as children, running off into the woods. There they meet Maggy, a witch who just so happens to live in the woods. The witch prophesied Cersei will outlive all three of her children and that she will be killed by her younger brother. Both Tyrion and Jaime are younger than Queen Cee, so it’s possible for either one of them to do the deed.

(side note: Why can’t witches live in normal houses in the suburbs? Why is it always in a tree, a gnarled root or a giant tower, a la Tangled.)

Dragons Fighting With White Walkers: At the end of season six, Daenarys heads to House Of The Undead. There she finds a book, which gives her a vision of her brother, Rhaegar, saying “the dragon has three heads.” The Targaryen sigil has three heads and there are currently three dragons flying around. Mount the show’s three main protagonists, Jon Snow, Tyrion Lannister, and Daenarys on top of some scaly beasts and you’ve got yourself a semi-fulfilled prophecy.

Those dragons, which are always the best part of the show, haven’t really shown off what they can do. Sure, they’ve barbecued a few mutineers in masks along the way, but there hasn’t been the epic slugfest that fans have been dying for.

The Hound And The Mountain Are Going To Smash (Fists): Last season, we learned that the Hound, the grumpy dwarf of the Game Of Thrones universe, is back in action. Through some sort of television magic, he’s come back from his fatal duel with Brienne with a much brighter disposition. That is, until the friends he’s made get violently murdered by a bunch of assholes.

The Mountain, as a zombie, was last scene torturing the “shame nun” inside a dungeon. If HBO knows anything about good fan-service, they have got to get these two goliaths to square off. The Hound could be sitting at a bar, trying to enjoy a pint of terrible medieval beer and a certain undead bodyguard can come at him from behind. There’s no precedent to this in the books – it would just be really cool to see.

What do you want to see in season seven of Game Of Thrones ? Tell us in the comments.