‘Darkwing Duck’ Reboot Hits TVs In 2018 So You Can Have Old Crap To Force On Your Kids Even Though They Have Better Cartoons Now [UPDATE]

'Darkwing Duck' is returning to TV.
'Darkwing Duck' is returning to TV. Disney XD

Darkwing Duck is returning to Disney XD in 2018 with a “gritty look that this generation of kids love” but the “same energy and bumbling crime-fighting spirit.” reports TV Overmind. The site has several more choice excerpts from the Disney XD press release, including the rationale for this strange, decades later reboot: “It’s our goal that fans of old and new will enjoy the new Darkwing Duck.” Now that the original Darkwing Duck viewers are old, it’s time to find them things they can force on their own children.

UPDATE: We got rolled. Apparently TV Overmind quoting from a press release was really TV Overmind quoting from their butts. 90s cartoons still suck though, so we got something right.

The cartoons of the early 90’s are almost universally terrible. Sure, you had all the 90’s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles action figures, even that big, gangly Needlenose that would never stand up right on your shelf.

Even our toys were cobbled together nonsense.
Even our toys were cobbled together nonsense. Playmates

I dare you to sit through a full episode of this garbage now:

‘Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles’

Tyler Perry’s Baxter Stockman is going to be approximately 10,000x better than this doof.

Even worse was X-Men: The Animated Series , which combines the same stunted, cheap animation with some of the most obnoxious voice work imaginable. Is Jubilee or Wolverine worse? You decide:

‘X-Men: The Animated Series’

Darkwing Duck shared the same radically unpleasant animation and mugging-for-the-camera vocal performances, but it did have a few elements that place it a notch above most other kids’ TV shows from the era. For one, it had a self-referential sense of humor that showed evident care in how it parodied comic book conventions of the day. Also, it had a Twin Peaks episode:

‘Darkwing Duck’ Meets ‘Twin Peaks’

Still, in a modern cartoon landscape with genuinely beautiful, boundary-breaking, mature shows like Adventure Time, Steven Universe, Legend of Korra, Gravity Falls and Regular Show, be prepared for your child to look at you askance after you turn on Darkwing Duck.

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