Game Of Thrones: What's Growing Inside Cersei?

It’s so weird to finally see stuff happening in Game Of Thrones. For six seasons, I’ve waited by King’s Landing, on the Wall, or on the back of a soaring dragon for all of these plot points to come together. The time has finally arrived and on Season 7 episode 5, titled “Eastwatch,” our merry band of main characters are pushed even closer together, showing what happens when you’re in the home stretch and have a story to conclude. Fans have been waiting for Night King Vs. The World and it’s so weird to finally see it come. It feels like I’m finally graduating from Game Of Thrones College, and I have no idea what I’m going to do with a BA in watching Sam run away from things.

Am I the only one who was a little disappointed when Jaime emerged from the water unscathed? He was coughing up a little water and had some bruises, but the man ran head first into a dragon’s flaming maw. Not to mention he was covered in heavy plate armor and a fancy jeweled hand – there was no way anyone was going to be dragging him to the surface. Bronn must have eaten his medieval Wheaties that morning because that man can seriously lift some pounds. After last week’s episode, I was hoping that real-world science would come into play and he’d at least end up with some broken bones and a really bad burn. This might be HBO, but it’s still the land of television magic, turning skinny former pickpockets into Olympic swimmers.

Speaking of Jaime, can you believe Cersei got that bun in the oven? I’m not too knowledgable on Game Of Thrones contraception, but even in the dark ages, they knew about the pull out method. You’d think after losing three children in terribly traumatic ways, she’d tell her brother to put on a sheepskin rubber or something before plowing her. I want you to throw all logic out the window for this theory, because it is so crazy, unrealistic and unnecessary that it feels like it could be a Game Of Thrones plot line. Cersei is lying about being pregnant just to keep Jaime focused on winning the Iron Throne to protect their “legacy.”

Qyburn, who we see exiting the chambers as Jaime walked in, could have concocted some sort of device or an alchemical enabler, that allows her to fake her pregnancy. He’s risen mountains from the dead and created green fire in a bottle, it wouldn’t be that crazy for him to create a baby bump to trick ol’ gullible Jaime. The man’s still trusting enough to hear out Tyrion, even though his brother betrayed him and is technically Public Enemy number one at King’s Landing.

Cersei is the best manipulator in the entirety of the Seven Kingdoms and she needs to keep Jaime close. She’s somehow managed to trick an entire army into following her, even though they just ended up being dragon food.

My other crazy theory is that Qyburn is actually growing something inside of Cersei. She’s had all her kids die, so why not make an abomination to the gods that can’t die? What if within Cersei is an offspring that is immune to poison, stabbing, crossbows to the chest and even falling out a window? She could have the ultimate king inside her womb, giving her name full control over the Seven Kingdoms for generations to come. You know you’re doing some weird shit when you’d rather say your brother was the father rather than what actually happened.

Do you feel my theories are utter rubbish or do you have a tinfoil hat as well? Tell us in the comments.